Xmas and Pine Cones
by Historia70
Summary: Zim is planning something for Christmas again. It is small affair that can fit into a living room. It is a one shot with Zim just hoping to reach his goal this year.


**Something lighthearted for this season. Hope you all enjoy. :)**

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><p>Oh no he didn't want to participate in Christmas this year with the entire Earth smellies. He hated it after that one fiasco so it was a day that would forever rue the day for him. But today, today he will win. Oh yes he will win over that jolly fat man. He will win. Laughter started tickling at him threaten to burble over as he rang his hands together. First it was low. Oh he was brilliant. That thought brought his laughing much more forth as his hands slowly separated, his back started arching back, legs spreading out, tongue beginning to come out as a full set of his teeth started to show to the point where now you can see the back of his throat as the laughing became stronger. More maniacal. He only stopped once to gasp for air before flying back into his fit of laughter as he fully declared;<p>

"I am BRILLIANT!"

He smiled at everything around him. He loved it all as he allowed himself a little victory dance. He had music in his head while he danced making him forget his surroundings.

"Get down with your bad self, Zim!" He exclaimed as he continued dancing around in that continued pride.

"I MADE COOKIES!"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Startled, Zim fell backwards into the pine cone decorations he set out stabbing and hurting himself. It honestly didn't help he added sparklers to it that were already lit simply because he didn't feel the glitter wasn't enough of a statement, he just had to add something to make it... Pop! Hearing the Computer laughing at his pain, he growled up at the ceiling. "Not right now, Computer."

Standing up, Zim removed a sparkler from his side tossing it back in the basket all the while looking down at his stupidly innocent Sir unit holding up a tray full of odd shaped cookies. "Gir... What did I tell you about yelling?"

"Ummmmm... To do it more?"

"No, Gir. I told you to stop that insipid yelling all the time. Try to remember." Zim answered as he now inspected the area his uniform was ruined.

"Sir, you yell all the time." The Computer reminded dully.

Rolling his eyeballs, Zim refused to respond to that remark as he bent to examine what Gir made. "Gir? What are those?" He asked patiently.

"They are gingerbread men. TASTE!" Gir replied shoving the still hot tray into Zim's face burning him prompting him to fall back into the basket of pine cones. "Awwww, masta hurt."

Leaning his head back, Zim just gave up on wanting to punish his little robot. What is the point? He'll just do the same thing again. "Yes, Gir, my all mighty bum hurts. Take those cookies away please." He sounded so tired saying that, but he counted down to the meltdown from his emotional robot.

1-2-3 Commence breakdown.

Gir's eyes started to water up. He started to whimper out loud before the resounding, "WHY?! Ahhh wahhh ohhhhh ahhhhh wooooo ahhhhhhhh... WHY?!"

Scrambling up from the bucket, Zim nabbed a cookie to satisfy him taking a large bite of it. "Satisfied?"

Nodding his head, Gir squealed with joy running off with excitement back into the kitchen leaving Zim practically gagging on the taste of the cookie. "What is this... Horrible taste?"

"Sir! I believe it is time for you to change into something less pine cone fresh." The Computer suggested.

Glancing down at yet another sparkler attached to him with a glittery pine cone, Zim's shoulders hunched over. "Yeah, your right. Thanks, Computer."

The Computer watched as he watched his Master wander away with a couple more sticking out of him. He took a picture of it for a possible Christmas card for next year. "Oh yeah, that is a good shot." He remarked laughing. "Perhaps I'll send it to that Dib kid."

It was more than an hour of waiting. Zim was shaking his leg wondering what was taking so long. He kept checking the time and wondered what the hell was happening. Never had it taken so long before. He got to the point in his waiting that he almost braided his antennas up, but gave it up because he was far too perfect of an Invader to do that, so he kept waiting till he heard that door ring. Jumping off the couch, he ran to the door to open it for a slightly irritated Gaz.

"Sorry I was late, Dib raised up the dead again and we had to deal with it. Thankfully dad had the cure still around from the last time he did that. Fucking bastards ruined a nice pair of boots that I owned." Gaz offered sincerely.

Letting her in, he took her jacket from her to admire what she wore. "Zombies you say?" He was intrigued.

"Please don't raise the dead or I'll have to kill you. It is a pain in the ass and I'm not fond of it. Last time it ruined a shirt." She warned as she rubbed her neck from the kink she was experiencing.

"A shirt, you say?"

Hearing that very different tone, Gaz smiled as she continued rubbing her neck. "Keep your mind out of the gutter, Zim I was 9 at the time. Hardly anything to get excited about."

Watching his friend doing that, it was obvious she was in pain so he felt it would be nice for him to massage her. "Here let me." Getting behind her, he applied some pressure on her pressure points and started to rub in which she issued a satisfied sound of approval. "Why would he do that anyhow?"

"He wanted to figure out who actually would take all the decorations from the town's square. He thought it would be quicker and efficient." She replied.

"He he, stupid Dib-stink. I bet you were angry."

"For a little bit. He felt horrible when dad yelled at him so I just patted him on the shoulder. Hard to make a person feel bad when they feel worse than anything anyhow." Feeling better, she stepped away from Zim. "Thanks." Turning to face him, she smirked at him. "A stuffed Irken elf. You sent that as your invite to come here. Very cute, Zim." Although she can see that there were some decorations near the door, she dismissed it as a whole, she didn't mind when Zim had her close her eyes to turn her around.

"You know how I feel about humans on the whole. You are different. I'm glad you are friends with, Zim. You can't do better than the all mighty Zim. To me that is never a mistake." Zim began to say to her not aware of her rolling her eyes at him referring to himself in the third person. "Gaz you are incredibly special to Zim to the point that I want you to see what I will do for you. Open your eyes."

Opening her eyes, she didn't know whether to gape or laugh at what she was witnessing. "I now know who took all of the decorations." All the garish oversized ornaments and garland was in his room taking it over making her wonder how truly blind she was right now. Really she did feel bad for being late so that was most likely it even as she took in the large tree that didn't quite fit so it was mostly sideways, tilted and made her look at something in question.

"Zim? You aware you have a homeless man in here? You have Hobo Willie in here."

"Huh? Eh?" Looking to where she was pointing there was a man under the tree in dirty off white clothing laying there staring at them both. "Oh? I thought he was one of the wise men from that scene."

"No, that is a homeless man." Gaz softly said.

"Hi! My names Willie!" Willie bellowed out happily. "This here is a strange home."

"Great! Now I have to wipe his mind."

Placing her hand on Zim's, she spoke to Willie, "My friend here is serious about his Cos-play. Do you know about that stuff, Willie?" Seeing Willie nod, she smiled at him. "Zim does it 24 hours a day. He's into his commitments."

"Ohhhhhh... I can respect that. So can I stay here?" Willie asked.

"NO!" Zim cried out.

Walking to her jacket, she took some money out of it, and started to walk towards Willie, but was stopped by Zim. "What?"

"What are you doing?"

"I only have $40.00 to my name so I'm hoping it is enough for hotel room. He can't sleep out in the cold." Gaz informed him before adding, "I'm not entirely heartless."

"Is this important to you, little Gaz?" Zim wondered as he glanced at the softest looks he seen from those eyes making him tell her to keep her money. Going to his room to grab some money of his own, he came back out to hand it to Willie. "Here!"

Eyeing how much he had in his hand, Willie stood up smiling a broken toothed grin. "Merry Christmas to both of you."

"Yeah, yeah, now go." Zim ordered watching the man stumble out of there.

"How much did you give him?"

"$200.00." He pouted thinking that this evening went south the second she spotted that smelly Earth beast in there.

Gaz glanced around the living room once again. Studied his attire, which looked more of a formal Invader uniform by the way it was cut and the colors which were a bolder red and black, and thought about this whole week leading up to today. Breathing hard, she looked down to examine her feet. He showed so many signs to her, but she was so blind. So stupidly blind. Someone like him liking her felt impossible.

"Gaz?" Zim was concerned why she was looking so sad suddenly after he did something nice for someone he didn't care about just because she wanted it. Someone he did care about. "You all right?"

"I didn't realize." She slowly replied in a mesmerized state.

"Didn't realize what?"

Turning to face him, she brought his face down to meet hers. "I didn't realize how much you cared for me until this moment. I thought it was impossible you would like me in that way."

"I do though. Zim likes making his Gaz smile."

Gingerly she kissed his lips unsure what he would make of it. Scared he would do his typical shouting and get disgusted at her actions, but he moved his hands around her waist to bring her closer to return her kiss. Breaking it off, he pressed his forehead against hers, "Gaz-mate." He endearingly said adding a small kiss to her nose.

Meanwhile at the Membrane household, Dib was still reeling from the escapade from the Zombies as he sat in front of his computer in a pure neutral mood. Dad stopped being mad at him. Gaz smiled at him and told him to forget about the boots before she took off, but he was tired from the error wondering what could cheer him up. Seeing an alert showing he had an email, he pulled it up and downloaded the picture showing Zim with his back to the camera with stuff sticking out of his back side. Laughing noticing it was glittery pine cones stuck to him, Dib felt perked up when the downloaded picture changed into:

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND DON'T LET THE PINE CONES HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT!

Signed,

The Computer.


End file.
